Welcome Back.

Wow. It's been a while. Months of not a lot of good things happening.

Lets start with my job:
I am no longer employed. After months and months of verbal and psychological abuse, I cracked. I spent the whole day crying and asked to go home a half hour early, to which my boss responded to turn in my key and GTFO. Which I did, after telling him to go f*ck himself. I tried to quit twice, and each time he talked me out of it, saying he was trying and sweetening my position. I should have known better. That is what I regret, not leaving earlier.

Lily is doing great. Still not sleeping through the night. She is now 7 months old. Sitting, laughing, standing (with assistance) and getting into trouble. I have never seen a baby try and get into so much stuff. She is a regular at the Sears portrait studio where her Aunt Leah is the manager. There are picture of Lily hanging in the studio and we get pictures at least once a month if not more. (Like 3x this month)

Life is very stressful right now. I have had 6 interviews and have applied at lots of places, but nothing is going on. I had a few offers, but they all seem to die once they ask me what my salary requirements are. I tried beating around the bush by asking what they normally paid for that position but that didn't help. I have hit a new low and it isn't a nice place.

Going Against the Norm

It is amazing how that you set out doing one thing and end up doing another. When I first found out I was pregnant I hit the bookstores and the web. Flooding myself with as much information as I could. In life I try not to make too many plans, just go and adjust as I need to. Well we have done some adjusting lately...

First off, Lily hated the bassinet. She would be perfectly happy sleeping next to us on the couch, or in our arms. At night, I would pull her into the bed to feed her and she would fuss until I fell asleep, securing her position in my arms and in our bed for hours. So finally we gave up and made her a spot in between us. She still wakes up every few hours to sleep, but she isn't as restless and we are getting more quality sleep.

Secondly, we have decided that it is best for our family if Sergio stays home. I am hoping I will have a cleaner house and Lily will be happier. I can't imagine having some stranger enjoy her first smile, her first giggle and all the funny things she does.

Those are the major differences between us and what the books all say, but if it works, then it works and no one can say shit if she is happy and healthy.

Bucket List

I know I need to sit down and update this, but mean time I am posting the 'Bucket List' that I stole from Lissa who stole it from Kate. We're a bunch of blog thieves.

Have you…

• Shot a gun… Yes
• Gone on a blind date… No
• Skipped school… Yes
  
• Been to Canada… No
• Been to Alaska… No, but I want to.
  
• Been to Cuba… No, but I really really want to
  
• Been to Europe… No
• Been to Las Vegas… Yeah. That ended badly.
  
• Been to Mexico… Briefly
• Been to Florida… No
• Been to California… 4th generation Californian!
  
• Been to Maine… No
• Been on a plane… Lots of times, I've flown a plane too.
  
• Been on a Cruise Ship… No, I have an unnatural fascination with ship wrecks.
  
• Been on a one day Lake Cruise Ship… Yes.
• Served on a Jury… No, I moved too many times for them to catch me! :-)
  
• Been lost… Yep, GPS is my friend.
  
• Been on the opposite side of the country... Does Texas count?
  
• Gone to New York City… Not yet.
  
• Swam in the Ocean… Well, duh. Being from California and all...
  
• Cried yourself to sleep… Yes
• Played Cops and Robbers… Yes, usually I'm the robber.
  
• Played Cowboys and Indians… Yes, on a horse, no less.
  
• Sang Karaoke… Yes
• Paid for a meal with coins only… lol, yes.
• Made prank phone calls… Not since the invention of caller ID
  
• Laughed until some beverage came out of your nose ... That and pizza. It was nasty.
  
• Read the Bible completely through... Not really.
  
• Caught a snowflake on your tongue… Yes
• Danced in the rain… Yes
• Written a letter to Santa Claus… Yes
• Been kissed under the mistletoe… Yes
• Watched the sunrise with someone… Yes
• Blown bubbles… Last week.
  
• Gone ice skating… No
  
• Gone skiing… No.
• Camped out under the stars… Yes
• Seen something so beautiful that it took your breath away… Not yet.
  
• Are or have been married... Twice.
• Have children… A 7 week old daughter
  
• Have / had a pet… Lots of pets. Currently is Abby and Jinx. Psychotic gray monsters.
  
• Been skinny dipping outdoors… Yep.
  
• Been fishing… Lots of times.
  
• Been boating… Yes
• Been water skiing... No
• Been hiking… Yes
• Been camping in a trailer/RV… No, we always had tents.
  
• Flown in a small 4-seater airplane… I've flown one.
  
• Flown in a glider... Yes
• Been flying in a helicopter... No
• Been flying in a hot air balloon… No
• Been BUNGEE-jumping… Sergio won't let me. :-(
  
• Gone to a drive-in movie… Lots of times.
  
• Done something that should have killed you… Have you been in a car with me?? :-)
  
• Done something that you will regret for the rest of your life… I try not to live with regrets, but there are a few things I wish I could take back. William Floyd being one of them.
  
• Been to Africa... No
• Ever ride an elephant… No
• Ever eaten just cookies for dinner… Yep
• Ever been on T.V. Yes
• Ever steal any traffic signs... No, but I have stolen stolen ones from my brother.
  
• Ever been in a car accident… Yes.
• Had a nickname... Yes
• Name Ever been in the local paper…Yes
• Ever been to Asia… No
• Ever been to Australia… No
  
• Been ski-diving… No
• Favorite drink: Non-alcoholic… Shirley Temple
  
• Tattoos… Not yet.
  
• Do you drive a 4-door vehicle… No.
• Favorite number... 13
• Favorite holiday… Halloween!!!
• Favorite dessert… A good cheesecake.
  

Allergies and Ardent Spirits

It has been a busy few weeks. Boy I thought life was busy before, but DAMN! Between doctor appointments and not sleeping, mostly the not sleeping, life has been interesting. Graci came down last week, brought tons of clothes and the visit ended with us at the hospital. Lily has a cow's milk allergy. Which hopefully she will grow out of. THEN Sergio brought home a cold and gave it to me and the baby. And this time we ended up at the pediatrician. So now the poor thing has to sleep in her swing or her car seat so she is elevated. I about died last night from fever and sore throat. Woke up this morning feeling better, thank goodness!!

So baby development... She SMILES!! She has been smiling since she was a few hours old, first as a reflex and then as an imitation of our expressions, now she is doing it on her own. I had her in my lap and was brushing her hair, I looked down and she had the biggest smile on her face. Also, she can lift her chest off the tummy time mat for a few seconds and can hold her head up and look around when sitting in my lap for a few minutes before she gets tired and lays it back in my hand. She especially likes watching me walk around the living room when Sergio burps her sitting up. Lily has also started really vocalizing this week. Now all we have to do is work on her sleeping more at night.

Job front... “Free at last; free at last; thank God Almighty we are free at last.” I did not want to return to DIS. I would rather file for unemployment and shoot myself in the foot than return there. I told George that if I had one more bounced check, I was gone. Well, I applied for a manager job at another local company and they hired me on the spot. So I went over to DIS, turned in my keys, saw Jared, and cleaned out my desk. Apparently Tom got pissed off at this and yelled at Jared. Well if Tom would answer his fucking phone we wouldn't have this problem. And technically, I didn't quit, since he never asked for my return or showed any interest when I broached the subject with him.

Well, the baby is awake so I am off.

Settling in

Lily is almost three weeks old and I am not as tired as I thought I would be. Don't get me wrong, I'm fucking exhausted. But not as tired as I thought I would be. The house is a disaster though. The only clean thing is my kitchen and that is because if you leave dishes for too long they smell. So she now weighs 7lbs 8oz (as of last Thursday).

I have learned some valuable lessons these last few weeks:

1. Just because she is a girl, doesn't mean she isn't going to pee everywhere, and unlike a boy, it doesn't spray upwards, no, it runs down her back and if I am changing her on my bed it ends disastrously.

2. LET THE HOUSE GO! The people that are coming to visit are here to see the kid and don't even notice the chunk of cat puke on the tile floor. (Fucking cats)

3. Never underestimate a determined child. If she wants to roll, she is going to roll, and it doesn't matter what the books say or the weird look you get from the nurses when you warn them of her new habit. Thank goodness she demonstrated this new talent on the couch and not on the counter top during a diaper change. Which leads us to 4...

4. If you had a c-section, it is ok to change the kid where ever you are comfortable because bending over SUCKS! Even if it means changing her in the kitchen.

5. I can live with spit up, and if she has a really nasty burp you better believe she will turn her head and blow it into the side of your face. Also, when your little newborn farts in public loud enough for the guy in front of you to turn around, it's fucking hilarious! She also farted in my hand while getting a bath. I could do a whole blog of her farting. :-)

I am having problems with the incision. But it just needs to heal and I need to take it easy. Some days it feels like I just got cut open and other days I hardly need any motrin and I feel good. My next appointment is in two weeks, from there I will need to make my decision for my birth control. I am NOT having another kid for at least 5 years. To be honest, I look at Lily and I think of how much easier it was to do the whole "baby" thing than I thought it would be. Since I was 18 I thought I could never do it. I was scared of the pain, basically of the unknown of the process. It wasn't that hard and the labor was the easy part and the recovery (short of not being able to do anything) has been easier than I ever imagined. My job and work drama is harder than this. And there is something about having someone that you know loves you no matter what and needs you more than anything.

And on that note, I am going to take a nap.

Songs From the Wood

Let me bring you songs from the wood:
to make you feel much better than you could know.
Dust you down from tip to toe.
Show you how the garden grows.
Hold you steady as you go.
Join the chorus if you can:
it'll make of you an honest man.
Let me bring you love from the field:
poppies red and roses filled with summer rain.
To heal the wound and still the pain
that threatens again and again
as you drag down every lover's lane.
Life's long celebration's here.
I'll toast you all in penny cheer.
Let me bring you all things refined:
galliards and lute songs served in chilling ale.
Greetings well met fellow, hail!
I am the wind to fill your sail.
I am the cross to take your nail:
A singer of these ageless times.
With kitchen prose and gutter rhymes.
Songs from the wood make you feel much better.

There just isn't any good music like this nowadays.

Survival of the First Week

It has been a week! We survived, the kid survived, and the house is still intact. Well, sort of. The house is a mess and it is killing me not to do any more housework than I already am.

Lily had her first doctor's appointment on Wednesday. She is already back up to 7lbs. The pediatrician said that they normally don't see that kind of gain until the 2nd week home. Lily didn't fuss at all, through the thermometer in the butt, testing her hips, and over all examination. Dr. said that it is interesting to see the personality in a newborn, and that Lily is very laid back. And she really is. And she is funny as hell. She has already started mimicking our facial expressions and entertaining us with her own. My favorite is the kissy face she makes. She "talks" to us a little and will make a singing noise when she is pleased with something. She'll only sleep on her side, does a *face palm* and will hold her pacifier by the handle and will pull it out when she is done with it.

So about me now: My c-section incision started draining a red liquid and was really sore so I had Sergio take me to the ER at 12:30am. It is just irritated and opened in a very small area to drain. So I am on antibiotics and followed up with my OB on Friday morning. The redid the steri strips and cleaned it up. I have my two week follow up on Wednesday and Lily has her two week on Thursday. I lost 20lbs since delivery. Once I get the all clear I am going to work on losing the rest. I am just happy that most of the swelling is gone. My face even looks thinner. BP is still a little high, but that will go away in about 6 weeks.

I am hoping my BP will stay down. Going to start looking for a new job at the end of the year if this shit keeps up. My pay last week bounced, so now Wells Fargo is going to be giving me shit about the checks when I start back up at work. I am going to end up having to cash them and deposit the cash in my account. For what I am getting paid, it isn't worth it.

I better get off my ass and start dinner. Sergio is grilling the steaks and shrimp and I am making the bread and corn. I got the easy end of the deal. :-)