Welcome Back.

Wow. It's been a while. Months of not a lot of good things happening.

Lets start with my job:
I am no longer employed. After months and months of verbal and psychological abuse, I cracked. I spent the whole day crying and asked to go home a half hour early, to which my boss responded to turn in my key and GTFO. Which I did, after telling him to go f*ck himself. I tried to quit twice, and each time he talked me out of it, saying he was trying and sweetening my position. I should have known better. That is what I regret, not leaving earlier.

Lily is doing great. Still not sleeping through the night. She is now 7 months old. Sitting, laughing, standing (with assistance) and getting into trouble. I have never seen a baby try and get into so much stuff. She is a regular at the Sears portrait studio where her Aunt Leah is the manager. There are picture of Lily hanging in the studio and we get pictures at least once a month if not more. (Like 3x this month)

Life is very stressful right now. I have had 6 interviews and have applied at lots of places, but nothing is going on. I had a few offers, but they all seem to die once they ask me what my salary requirements are. I tried beating around the bush by asking what they normally paid for that position but that didn't help. I have hit a new low and it isn't a nice place.

Going Against the Norm

It is amazing how that you set out doing one thing and end up doing another. When I first found out I was pregnant I hit the bookstores and the web. Flooding myself with as much information as I could. In life I try not to make too many plans, just go and adjust as I need to. Well we have done some adjusting lately...

First off, Lily hated the bassinet. She would be perfectly happy sleeping next to us on the couch, or in our arms. At night, I would pull her into the bed to feed her and she would fuss until I fell asleep, securing her position in my arms and in our bed for hours. So finally we gave up and made her a spot in between us. She still wakes up every few hours to sleep, but she isn't as restless and we are getting more quality sleep.

Secondly, we have decided that it is best for our family if Sergio stays home. I am hoping I will have a cleaner house and Lily will be happier. I can't imagine having some stranger enjoy her first smile, her first giggle and all the funny things she does.

Those are the major differences between us and what the books all say, but if it works, then it works and no one can say shit if she is happy and healthy.

Bucket List

I know I need to sit down and update this, but mean time I am posting the 'Bucket List' that I stole from Lissa who stole it from Kate. We're a bunch of blog thieves.

Have you…

• Shot a gun… Yes
• Gone on a blind date… No
• Skipped school… Yes
  
• Been to Canada… No
• Been to Alaska… No, but I want to.
  
• Been to Cuba… No, but I really really want to
  
• Been to Europe… No
• Been to Las Vegas… Yeah. That ended badly.
  
• Been to Mexico… Briefly
• Been to Florida… No
• Been to California… 4th generation Californian!
  
• Been to Maine… No
• Been on a plane… Lots of times, I've flown a plane too.
  
• Been on a Cruise Ship… No, I have an unnatural fascination with ship wrecks.
  
• Been on a one day Lake Cruise Ship… Yes.
• Served on a Jury… No, I moved too many times for them to catch me! :-)
  
• Been lost… Yep, GPS is my friend.
  
• Been on the opposite side of the country... Does Texas count?
  
• Gone to New York City… Not yet.
  
• Swam in the Ocean… Well, duh. Being from California and all...
  
• Cried yourself to sleep… Yes
• Played Cops and Robbers… Yes, usually I'm the robber.
  
• Played Cowboys and Indians… Yes, on a horse, no less.
  
• Sang Karaoke… Yes
• Paid for a meal with coins only… lol, yes.
• Made prank phone calls… Not since the invention of caller ID
  
• Laughed until some beverage came out of your nose ... That and pizza. It was nasty.
  
• Read the Bible completely through... Not really.
  
• Caught a snowflake on your tongue… Yes
• Danced in the rain… Yes
• Written a letter to Santa Claus… Yes
• Been kissed under the mistletoe… Yes
• Watched the sunrise with someone… Yes
• Blown bubbles… Last week.
  
• Gone ice skating… No
  
• Gone skiing… No.
• Camped out under the stars… Yes
• Seen something so beautiful that it took your breath away… Not yet.
  
• Are or have been married... Twice.
• Have children… A 7 week old daughter
  
• Have / had a pet… Lots of pets. Currently is Abby and Jinx. Psychotic gray monsters.
  
• Been skinny dipping outdoors… Yep.
  
• Been fishing… Lots of times.
  
• Been boating… Yes
• Been water skiing... No
• Been hiking… Yes
• Been camping in a trailer/RV… No, we always had tents.
  
• Flown in a small 4-seater airplane… I've flown one.
  
• Flown in a glider... Yes
• Been flying in a helicopter... No
• Been flying in a hot air balloon… No
• Been BUNGEE-jumping… Sergio won't let me. :-(
  
• Gone to a drive-in movie… Lots of times.
  
• Done something that should have killed you… Have you been in a car with me?? :-)
  
• Done something that you will regret for the rest of your life… I try not to live with regrets, but there are a few things I wish I could take back. William Floyd being one of them.
  
• Been to Africa... No
• Ever ride an elephant… No
• Ever eaten just cookies for dinner… Yep
• Ever been on T.V. Yes
• Ever steal any traffic signs... No, but I have stolen stolen ones from my brother.
  
• Ever been in a car accident… Yes.
• Had a nickname... Yes
• Name Ever been in the local paper…Yes
• Ever been to Asia… No
• Ever been to Australia… No
  
• Been ski-diving… No
• Favorite drink: Non-alcoholic… Shirley Temple
  
• Tattoos… Not yet.
  
• Do you drive a 4-door vehicle… No.
• Favorite number... 13
• Favorite holiday… Halloween!!!
• Favorite dessert… A good cheesecake.
  

Allergies and Ardent Spirits

It has been a busy few weeks. Boy I thought life was busy before, but DAMN! Between doctor appointments and not sleeping, mostly the not sleeping, life has been interesting. Graci came down last week, brought tons of clothes and the visit ended with us at the hospital. Lily has a cow's milk allergy. Which hopefully she will grow out of. THEN Sergio brought home a cold and gave it to me and the baby. And this time we ended up at the pediatrician. So now the poor thing has to sleep in her swing or her car seat so she is elevated. I about died last night from fever and sore throat. Woke up this morning feeling better, thank goodness!!

So baby development... She SMILES!! She has been smiling since she was a few hours old, first as a reflex and then as an imitation of our expressions, now she is doing it on her own. I had her in my lap and was brushing her hair, I looked down and she had the biggest smile on her face. Also, she can lift her chest off the tummy time mat for a few seconds and can hold her head up and look around when sitting in my lap for a few minutes before she gets tired and lays it back in my hand. She especially likes watching me walk around the living room when Sergio burps her sitting up. Lily has also started really vocalizing this week. Now all we have to do is work on her sleeping more at night.

Job front... “Free at last; free at last; thank God Almighty we are free at last.” I did not want to return to DIS. I would rather file for unemployment and shoot myself in the foot than return there. I told George that if I had one more bounced check, I was gone. Well, I applied for a manager job at another local company and they hired me on the spot. So I went over to DIS, turned in my keys, saw Jared, and cleaned out my desk. Apparently Tom got pissed off at this and yelled at Jared. Well if Tom would answer his fucking phone we wouldn't have this problem. And technically, I didn't quit, since he never asked for my return or showed any interest when I broached the subject with him.

Well, the baby is awake so I am off.

Settling in

Lily is almost three weeks old and I am not as tired as I thought I would be. Don't get me wrong, I'm fucking exhausted. But not as tired as I thought I would be. The house is a disaster though. The only clean thing is my kitchen and that is because if you leave dishes for too long they smell. So she now weighs 7lbs 8oz (as of last Thursday).

I have learned some valuable lessons these last few weeks:

1. Just because she is a girl, doesn't mean she isn't going to pee everywhere, and unlike a boy, it doesn't spray upwards, no, it runs down her back and if I am changing her on my bed it ends disastrously.

2. LET THE HOUSE GO! The people that are coming to visit are here to see the kid and don't even notice the chunk of cat puke on the tile floor. (Fucking cats)

3. Never underestimate a determined child. If she wants to roll, she is going to roll, and it doesn't matter what the books say or the weird look you get from the nurses when you warn them of her new habit. Thank goodness she demonstrated this new talent on the couch and not on the counter top during a diaper change. Which leads us to 4...

4. If you had a c-section, it is ok to change the kid where ever you are comfortable because bending over SUCKS! Even if it means changing her in the kitchen.

5. I can live with spit up, and if she has a really nasty burp you better believe she will turn her head and blow it into the side of your face. Also, when your little newborn farts in public loud enough for the guy in front of you to turn around, it's fucking hilarious! She also farted in my hand while getting a bath. I could do a whole blog of her farting. :-)

I am having problems with the incision. But it just needs to heal and I need to take it easy. Some days it feels like I just got cut open and other days I hardly need any motrin and I feel good. My next appointment is in two weeks, from there I will need to make my decision for my birth control. I am NOT having another kid for at least 5 years. To be honest, I look at Lily and I think of how much easier it was to do the whole "baby" thing than I thought it would be. Since I was 18 I thought I could never do it. I was scared of the pain, basically of the unknown of the process. It wasn't that hard and the labor was the easy part and the recovery (short of not being able to do anything) has been easier than I ever imagined. My job and work drama is harder than this. And there is something about having someone that you know loves you no matter what and needs you more than anything.

And on that note, I am going to take a nap.

Songs From the Wood

Let me bring you songs from the wood:
to make you feel much better than you could know.
Dust you down from tip to toe.
Show you how the garden grows.
Hold you steady as you go.
Join the chorus if you can:
it'll make of you an honest man.
Let me bring you love from the field:
poppies red and roses filled with summer rain.
To heal the wound and still the pain
that threatens again and again
as you drag down every lover's lane.
Life's long celebration's here.
I'll toast you all in penny cheer.
Let me bring you all things refined:
galliards and lute songs served in chilling ale.
Greetings well met fellow, hail!
I am the wind to fill your sail.
I am the cross to take your nail:
A singer of these ageless times.
With kitchen prose and gutter rhymes.
Songs from the wood make you feel much better.

There just isn't any good music like this nowadays.

Survival of the First Week

It has been a week! We survived, the kid survived, and the house is still intact. Well, sort of. The house is a mess and it is killing me not to do any more housework than I already am.

Lily had her first doctor's appointment on Wednesday. She is already back up to 7lbs. The pediatrician said that they normally don't see that kind of gain until the 2nd week home. Lily didn't fuss at all, through the thermometer in the butt, testing her hips, and over all examination. Dr. said that it is interesting to see the personality in a newborn, and that Lily is very laid back. And she really is. And she is funny as hell. She has already started mimicking our facial expressions and entertaining us with her own. My favorite is the kissy face she makes. She "talks" to us a little and will make a singing noise when she is pleased with something. She'll only sleep on her side, does a *face palm* and will hold her pacifier by the handle and will pull it out when she is done with it.

So about me now: My c-section incision started draining a red liquid and was really sore so I had Sergio take me to the ER at 12:30am. It is just irritated and opened in a very small area to drain. So I am on antibiotics and followed up with my OB on Friday morning. The redid the steri strips and cleaned it up. I have my two week follow up on Wednesday and Lily has her two week on Thursday. I lost 20lbs since delivery. Once I get the all clear I am going to work on losing the rest. I am just happy that most of the swelling is gone. My face even looks thinner. BP is still a little high, but that will go away in about 6 weeks.

I am hoping my BP will stay down. Going to start looking for a new job at the end of the year if this shit keeps up. My pay last week bounced, so now Wells Fargo is going to be giving me shit about the checks when I start back up at work. I am going to end up having to cash them and deposit the cash in my account. For what I am getting paid, it isn't worth it.

I better get off my ass and start dinner. Sergio is grilling the steaks and shrimp and I am making the bread and corn. I got the easy end of the deal. :-)

Birth Story

I know I have a lot to catch up on, but while it is fresh in my mind I am going to get this down.

Wednesday (May 12th):
Also known as Jared's Birthday! Went to the doctor for my weekly appointment and check up because I had been a little stressed lately and it was causing some issues. It started out as a routine check up, walked in, pissed in the cup, and then came the blood pressure reading. I was swollen, had high BP and was +1 on the protein in my urine. So I was sent across the street to the hospital for a prelim. diagnosis of mild preeclampsia. Ran home to grab a few things and make sure everything was locked up and cats fed, then I checked myself in. Instead of taken into a little room with a bed, I was in a birthing suite, that was my first hint that this was going to go the way it did. Hours of tests and constant monitoring, I was given the choice, 24hr urine tests, more monitoring, complete bed rest, and the chance of doing all this again next week but with more complications, OR we could induce and get her out before it got any worse. After talking to Sergio, the nurses and my doctor, we decided induction was the safest. Jared and Leah came over and brought me dinner after the office closed and kept us company for a bit. Jared called Godfather dibs if the baby was born before midnight because it was HIS BIRTHDAY, DAMNIT! :-)

Thursday (May 13th):
After a long night of BP monitoring, I was hooked up to the pitocin at 5am. Water was broken by my doc at 8am and the fun started! I asked for the epidural at 9:30 and after that had a great morning and afternoon. Then it got complicated. As I was "transitioning" I got sick and started throwing up, which was dropping the baby's heart rate and upping my BP. I made some progress, was at 9+, her head was engaged, and then I closed back up to an 8 and was having really bad back labor. Around 6pm after no progression, still vomiting, we discussed a c-section. Man, all I had to do was say the c word and they were all agreeing. I guess we were waiting for me to broach the subject. We induced labor to avoid these kind of complications, and I was all for anything to deliver her safely at this point and get this over with. So at 6:37 pm Liliana was born. She scored 9.9 on the APGAR, passed her hearing test, and was very healthy despite the massive cone-head.

Despite the complications, I couldn't have asked for better support and care that I received from the wonderful nurses and Sergio. It made it a much bearable experience and The Med really does have the best staff in the area.

Now I am off to get a nap before she wakes up. I will update on her first couple of days after her appointment on Wednesday.

I said "BOING!!!"

What a day! And it is only12:50pm. Started off this morning feeling like shit. But at least I found that the cause of my dizziness is stress/exhaustion related and not blood sugar. I felt perfectly fine until my rubber check. Then drama ensued with my boss and our technician. I am VERY proud of Jared for the way he handled it. If he hadn't been there, I don't know what we would have done. He is the only reason there is any $$ coming in and I don't think he gets the respect he deserves.

But other than that, things have been going pretty good! Sergio and I haven't fought in over a week, the house is cleanish, the fence is fixed and I was feeling pretty damn good... until yesterday. I fell asleep around 9pm, woke up at 10:30 and went to bed. Woke up at 9am really dizzy. My doctor prescribed a motion sickness drug for me but I can't take it and drive, so it does me no good at work when I have the car. I was worried that I had developed diabetes, but after this morning, turns out it is just exhaustion and drama.

So the baby doc appt... Hit my "DO NOT PASS" weight. :-( At the next appointment we are going to discuss induction. The doctor doesn't want me to get past my due date, so as early as next Friday, we could have a baby! Still scared. But thanks to Graci and Tara, I am now fully stocked and prepared, just have to pick up the nipples for the bottles, but that can wait until I find out how big she is and if she is going to even take a bottle. So there have been absolutely no changes "down there" and the little stubborn monster refuses to plant her ass where it belongs. I could tell she had moved back up when I had a hard time breathing the other night. Which plays havoc with my asthma and allergies.

I'm going to do the countdown for shits and giggles, but next week's we should have a definite date:

From and including: Thursday, May 6, 2010
To and including: Wednesday, May 19, 2010

It is 14 days from the start date to the end date, end date included

Alternative time units

14 days can be converted to one of these units:

• 1,209,600 seconds
• 20,160 minutes
• 336 hours
• 2 weeks

What? Two in one day??

I have to do my obligatory weekly update so you will get two entries in one day. Lucky people.

Went in for my weekly appointment. BP looked really good. 114/74. Pulse was a little high, but it always is. So I got the usual treatment, piss in a cup, get weighed (gained a little but still under my goal weight), and then walk in to find a paper gown. Which I ripped within five minutes. Turned out I haven't been contracting enough to even be checked. So half naked for no reason.

Have I mentioned baby stuff is expensive?? Wow. I spent $107 at Target today. Sure $20 was in new white shirts for Sergio, $12 was a nursing bra, and I could have learned how to swaddle a baby instead of buying the swaddler and saved myself another $20, but it was such a cute pattern and it was a 2 pack. I did get everything but the breast pump, and that I am ordering next week. My bag is officially packed and I'm going to load it in the car tomorrow. I am sure I packed too much, but isn't it my prerogative as a first timer?

I think Sergio and I finally have everything worked out. We had a really long discussion, we both yelled and cried and in the end, we got dinner and had a really good night and day today. I surprised him with a PS3 game he wanted. He had been playing the demo and apparently it was some kind of game of the year last year. Hopefully things will stay this good. I have really missed him and our relationship.

So in the words of Peggy Lee- "Cause it's a good day for paying your bills;
And it's a good day for curing your ills, So take a deep breath and throw away your pills; Cause it's a good day from morning' till night"

Annnndddddd here is the countdown for the week...

From and including: Wednesday, April 28, 2010
To and including: Wednesday, May 19, 2010

It is 22 days from the start date to the end date, end date included

Alternative time units

22 days can be converted to one of these units:

• 1,900,800 seconds
• 31,680 minutes
• 528 hours
• 3 weeks (rounded down)

The "Science" of Baby Names

I stumbled upon this article this morning about the Science of Baby Names. When it came time to name our baby I had one name stuck in my head. I just couldn't get past it. Now it was a compromise between what I really wanted, Lila, and what I ended up with because with the middle name we chose Lila wouldn't work. So at six or seven weeks into this, she was named.

Back to this article... it made an interesting point in the trends of baby naming. When I worked at Kiddie Kandids in Southern California we had at least 4 Aidens a day. We even have an Aiden in the family. So from popular to the odd, I have a niece named Starling. Now in this article they talk about how popular books are creating a trend in baby names. Esme, Bella, Edward. I love the name Esme, but then I am a sucker for old fashioned names. But what bothers me is that women, grown-ass women, are naming their children after characters in a sub-par book series or worse, they have never read the books and are just going off the movies. Now I enjoy Twilight when I am in need of something to wash my brain out with nonsense and fluff, but enough to name my child after whiny Bella, no thank you. I could get into the sick fascination the 30+ crowd has for this series, but I won't. Just baby names. I am sure there are "Truebies" who are naming their kids Bill, Sookie, and Eric. But Twilight names?? Come on people, think about it... "Mommy, how did you chose my name?" and then set them down and let them watch the sparkly emo vamps. I will say one thing in closing the only good thing about naming your kid Esme or Edward is that it is bringing back those old names and giving them new life.

Rachel and the Septimana Horribilis

This week has been horrible so far, so I am just going to do a baby update and a quick side note.

I have not gained any weight, thank goodness! Had an "exam" (shoot me!) and found out that things are moving along, but not too fast. I am supposed to walk 20 minutes a day to get the kid to get down and stay down. As opposed to getting pissed off when she gets her head thumped and move up and punish me the whole day. I guess I should just be grateful that she is in the right position at least.

Got the new tires on the car, $320 later. Got into it with Sergio earlier this week, hence the Septimana horribilis. I don't know what to do any more. I know this is a tough time for him and things are changing quickly, but SERIOUSLY?! And if I could round all these desperate bitches up in a room and hose them down I would. Women who pursue and pay attention to a married man need to be taken out behind their trailer and smacked a few times. But I'm not going to get into it. :-(

I normally don't pray, but I am PRAYING that next week is better for all of us. If it isn't, it will be taken out behind the trailer too!!

From and including: Wednesday, April 21, 2010
To and including: Wednesday, May 19, 2010

It is 29 days from the start date to the end date, end date included

29 days can be converted to one of these units:

• 2,505,600 seconds
• 41,760 minutes
• 696 hours
• 4 weeks (rounded down)

Busy Wednesday

Had my second of my weekly visits to the baby doc before I am supposed to pop. Everything looks good, the kid is active, has a strong heart beat and my BP and swelling were all normal. We discussed labor signs and when to go to the hospital. Because I am GBS positive, I have to go in within an hour or so of my water breaking.

Took care of some problems I was having with Wells Fargo. Walked in to close one account, ended up opening another and got half of my overdraft reimbursed. So now I have an account for my automatic drafts, and an account for my debits. I hate how a lot of companies are making it so you have to have a automatic draft every month, my car insurance and Verizon for one! But this will make it so I know what I have in the accounts, bill will be separate from everything else, and no holds will be placed on my pay. Also paid Sergio's last installment of his tickets for College Station. Finally, no more $200/month in payments to the court. Now if we can keep him out of trouble...

My mother's day present came today. Sergio gave me a little bit of shit for ordering it and wearing it before mother's day, but you know what? Bite me! It's pretty and I love it! Wow, Mother's Day... Can you believe that someone is going to let me be responsible for another person?? I feel like we have so much to do in so little time. And the fact that the doctor said that if I went into labor tonight that they wouldn't stop it. Scary.

Countdown:

From and including: Wednesday, April 14, 2010
To and including: Wednesday, May 19, 2010

It is 36 days from the start date to the end date, end date included

Or 1 month, 6 days including the end date

Alternative time units

36 days can be converted to one of these units:

• 3,110,400 seconds
• 51,840 minutes
• 864 hours
• 5 weeks (rounded down)

Attack of the First Post!!

I have almost abandoned my LJ, and after keeping that since 2003, I think it is time to start new. I am sure this blog will get all fancy once I get the hang of it, but for right now you will have to forgive me.

Here is where we stand right now: Today to May 19th

It is 43 days from the start date to the end date, end date included, 1 month, 13 days including the end date, 6 weeks (rounded down)

Had the last of my bi-monthly OB appointments and now I am at weekly. No longer anemic, gained more weight than I care to admit at this point, and I have perpetually plugged sinuses. Had the baby shower at the end of last month. Received some beautiful handmade blankets and some pretty cute outfits. This kid is going to be the best dressed baby! Really enjoyed having everyone over, first real party I have thrown in years. I learned a lot about what NOT to do at a baby shower, like buy wine and allow people to get fuckered. But all in all, I had fun!

I guess that is all for now, I am going to play with the settings and pretty fonts.